Eight-teen (Four Benefits to Long Term Youth Ministry)

Today is March 1st 2016.

I realize that it has been almost an entire year since I updated here. But today I felt it necessary.

On September 1st 2014 I packed up my car, bought a Starbucks, and hit the highway for a 7 hour drive. A drive that would end at a small bachelor-type apartment (two old motel rooms converted into one apartment), a small community, and about an hour from Starbucks.

This was 18 months ago.

When I began as Pastor of Youth and Family Ministries at Florenceville Baptist Church it was general consensus that the average tenure for a youth pastor was 18 months. I was reading it everywhere- on blog posts, Facebook statuses, tweets, it seemed to be everywhere... even though I couldn't find out where this information originated from.

I still can't - in fact minds much greater than mine can't seem to find it either. It's an untraceable bit of information that has been floating around the inter webs and I for one am glad that this doesn't seem to be true and that it definitely isn't true in my case. (Or the case of my convention of churches... which is roughly average of 3.5 years)

I'm just getting started at this ministry- just starting to build relationships, just now making memories, finally building trust, and just now starting to see the fruits of the labour that has taken 18 months to build- I can't imagine turning around and leaving now... even for a closer Starbucks (and now with their new points system I wouldn't want to anyway).


I guess the rest of this blog is for those who are starting out or are going through a difficult season in their ministry. I am not an expert- I have only been here 18 months but I can already see the benefits to a long-term youth ministry.

1. Relationships. 

Youth are relational beings. No matter their situation in life they strive to feel wanted, accepted, loved, and cared for. Youth who come from 'good Christian homes' and youth who come from broken, destroyed, messy backgrounds all desire this. It was just after my 12 month milestone that one of my youth asked 'How long are you going to be here?' (meaning as their Youth Pastor) and I  sarcastically answered 'Well.... I still like you so I'm gonna stick around for a while'
I realize now that that wasn't a smart way to answer that question but it was how I was feeling- I was loving the youth, the community, the church, the ministry and so planned on sticking around.
They took that to say 'When I don't like you anymore I'm out of here'
.... again- I've only been doing this for 18 months.... I'm still learning, I make mistakes.
Building relationships takes time and to come in as a youth pastor, develop a relationships, and  build on them is longer than an 18 month process. Imagine the damage you are doing to a youth if they have a different youth pastor every 18 months- that would be 4 different youth pastors during their time in Middle and High School programs. By number 3 they are never going to open up... which leads me to the second reason for long term youth ministry positions.


2. Trust.

Trust is built. Youth are struggling through making their faith their own or developing a faith from scratch. They need someone with whom they can work out that faith with. Someone who can guide them through the tough questions, someone they can turn to when they feel far from God, someone who can assure them that God is with them when life gets messy. Someone they can talk about their messy life with. And no, this isn't always going to be the youth pastor (it's actually better if it isn't a youth pastor- hopefully it is another mentor, a neighbour, a family friend) but the youth pastor who knows the youth's past, who knows where they have been is going to be MUCH more trusted by a youth than one who knows nothing about them.


3. Development of Program.

It's true..... Churches don't like change. For any Pastor heading into their first church be ready.... churches take time to come around to new ideas, new ways of ministering, and letting go of the ways they have operated in the past. This is simply the fact of ANY group of people (have you seen the new way schools do math!? I don't understand it... I don't like it.... but someday I'm going to have to help my children learn it). In a church a youth pastor needs to be willing to go to bat for the youth. Needs to be willing to build trust with the adults of the church so they can try new things, reach new people, make youth programming more engaging and age appropriate for them.... and these programs take TIME to develop.... not only getting approval from adults BUT changing the minds and hearts of the youth from the old to the new AND building it to be what you dream and vision it to be.... don't give up after one failed attempt- perhaps the next will go better.


4. A Time For Everything. 

It's true- scripture says there is a time for every season under heaven. And one of the benefits of a long-term youth ministry is experiencing ALL of these seasons with youth, with their families, and with the church.
You will go to a board meeting and be questioned on the scratches on the hallway floor, the lack of Bible Study for High Schoolers, the board will hate your idea of painting the youth room (or creating a youth room). They will get mad at you when youth are distracting during the service or when the gym isn't cleaned up properly after a program and parent's will call you and ask why you haven't invited their child directly on the youth mission trip! You will get frustrated and angry at yourself when attendance is low, when nobody volunteers to help, when you run out of money in September. Somebody will comment about how messy your office is or as you "What do you do all week anyway"- these things will happen. (*This is all hypothetical of course*)
And then your youth will go through difficult times - a family member will die, depression and athletic and academic pressures will kick in. But they will also have celebrations, graduations, baptisms, newer and stronger relationships with Jesus, inviting friends to ministry events. Youth will work at camp, ask you if they can run a food drive, start their own Bible Study, suggest a youth oriented worship night. The board will celebrate the joys of new students in midweek programs, be overcome by the testimony of a youth before their baptism, you will have prayers answered with a new youth leader you didn't expect (okay.... maybe not). There is a time for everything.... and just because Ecclesiastes says 'a season for every activity' it doesn't mean it will all happen in our 4 seasons....
With the bad comes the good, the great. What I am trying to say here is don't become discouraged and leave your ministry because of a bad season.  Stick it out- your ministry will benefit from it in the long run. Celebrate the small wins and realize that God has called you to youth ministry- a ministry that thrives in longevity- not in short bursts.





Oh...... and if God hasn't called you to youth ministry but this is just a 'stepping stone' to the 'real thing' then get out of youth ministry and get where God has called you.

Where?

My last blog update was titled 'A place I never thought I'd be' and it was written a year ago- I feel like I could use that title all over again today. So where am I?

Florenceville-Bristol, NB.

Never heard of it? Don't worry- most people haven't.

*Note: I did not take this photo- I found it and don't know who did.

It is much different than my previous living accommodations of Halifax, Nova Scotia and it most certainly is a place I never thought that I would be. When I first started telling friend and family where I was moving most were very underwhelmed and after the initial "Where?" they began asking about what was there and how different it would be from living in the 'big city.'

Although there are differences there are also many similarities:

1. There are two bridges
Halifax has two bridges- the Old Bridge and the New Bridge (Or the MacDonald and the McKay for those of you not from the city). When talking to people about going from Dartmouth to Halifax or vice versa you are always asked which bridge you use and you plan your route depending on the bridge and the time of day.
Florenceville-Bristol also has two bridges. I have been calling them the Old Bridge and the New Bridge- but locals call them the Little Bridge and the Big Bridge. The little bridge is an old covered bridge that JUST BARELY allows two cars to squeeze by going 20km/h (Seriously, if you drive a truck you avoid the little bridge). The Big Bridge is part of the old TransCanada Highway and is larger, higher, stronger, and built for the load of trucks.

I used to hold my breath as a kid when we would cross the bridges in Halifax- when I moved to Florenceville-Bristol I would hold my breath when I passed another car on the little bridge. Then I would check my side mirror-- just to make sure it was still there.


2. The Airport is on the outskirts of the 'Municipality' 
That's right... Florenceville-Bristol has an airport.
What you may not know about Flroenceville-Bristol is that it is the home of the McCain Food's empire. (seriously, go to your freezer, pick up a McCain package and look at the address on it....)
Being a global business there is an airport to transport executives, farmers, and other employees to major cities for business adventures. I promise- it was quite a shock on my first day here when I saw an airplane going down into what looked like another potato field up on the hill.... turns out it was supposed to go there.


3. Avoid Main Street(s) at 5:00pm.
Seriously. In Halifax I would try leaving work early, staying late, or find side streets as much as possible. In Florenceville-Bristol there aren't any side streets so I just avoid the 'Rush Hour' time. Driving through 'town' when all the businesses (especially McCain employees) are trying to get out of their driveway's onto the main street is CRAZY. The two biggest differences between Florenceville-Bristol and Halifax is that in F-B rush hour really only lasts 15 minutes and there is no side streets to avoid the rush.

*Another similarity that is connected to this one is that many people commute from outlying communities to work in the 'city centre' 

OH! And don't be fooled at ANY point you can get held up in a traffic jam. In Halifax all it would take is one car accident. In Florenceville-Bristol all it takes is a tractor moving from one potato field to another.


4. Finally, it takes 20 minutes to get anywhere. 
In Halifax my wife and I had a joke that we lived in the perfect spot because every time somebody outside the city asked how far it took us to get from home to _________ (pick a place) we would always answer '20 minutes'.... always.
Since moving to Florenceville we discovered that it takes 20 minutes (well... 15) to get anywhere. The difference is that in Halifax you passed 6 coffee shops before you got to the one you wanted. Here you get one option and 5 minutes of your 15 minute drive is waiting to get to the drivethru speaker, or talking to someone you know that you ran into in the parking lot.

---
Yep, they may be very different geographically and population-wise (1,600 vs. 375,000)but Florenceville-Bristol and Halifax have a lot more in common than you may think.
Don't believe me? Come visit- I'll give you the tour, but warning: It takes a while... since everything is 15 minutes away.